Sometimes you just feel like you are never good enough. Some days you feel like you'll never make it. Some days you just feel like quitting.
Today is one of those days.
I'm getting more and more apprehensive and discouraged about my application to MSON. After doing some research and reading last night, I found out nearly every accepted applicant for MSON last semester received at least an 80 on the TEAS exam, most were in the mid to upper 80's. Things are looking so hot for my 74 - even with it being 10 points above the national average. I'm getting worried and so very discouraged.
I've been looking into other options all afternoon and have only become even more discouraged. USC-L has approximately a two year wait list and the York Technical School also has a two year wait list. Midlands Tech - about an hour and twenty minutes away - is accepting applications for Fall 2014 right now. CPCC is accepting applications for Fall 2013 and MSON is accepting applications for Fall 2013. Both of the later have stringent guidelines - I was denied from CPCC last semester even after submitting with a 24 ACT, 4.0 high school GPA, 3.5 college GPA, and all but one pre-requisite class completed. I feel like I'll never get in anywhere - and if/when I do - it will be 5 years from now.
I'm going to branch a little further out - even if it means driving 1-2 hours every day to classes. It shouldn't be this hard to find somewhere to complete a nursing degree. After this summer's classes are over, all of my general education classes and electives will be complete. I'm going to re-take the TEAS and hope for more than a 74.
I feel so trapped by all of this. I just want to complete the clinical part of the nursing program and be done. I know that I'm not stupid! I know that I am smart, but being denied acceptance and most likely not making it this semester really puts a kink in one's self-esteem. I wish I could fast-forward through a two year waiting list, or increase my college GPA and TEAS exam scores and perhaps make it in 2013 for CPCC or MSON. I just feel so stuck right now. It's like a child that wants something so badly and has a parent dangling it in front of them only to snatch it away when the child attempts to grab it. I want this so badly and I feel like it's becoming harder and harder to see beyond the roadblocks. I know there is a perfect plan for me and everything will fall into place, but right now it feels so hopeless and I feel like quitting.